MATURITY COMES WITH AGE & EXPERIENCE

Looking back over the years , I realize that I handle situations differently. Some get simpler,while others get more complicated with age.

Take love for example,when we were younger we would run to mum or dad because that was our best understanding of love. Now as you grow older from a teenager and you begin to experience different emotions, the boy  or girl next door you just couldn’t stand is suddenly so attractive and you wonder what changed! you grew up, chemistry happened ha ha ha..

You also have to make hard love decisions,commitment and loyalty.

Lets look at school , assignments were so hard that you probably wondered how could I have solved such a problem,ten years later you could solve the same maths problem eyes closed.In high school I think I had a very difficult time with science subjects and the teachers made us feel like we were in the wrong place if you couldn’t get the concentration of the chemicals. I could easily admit that even today some of those chemical equations would be tricky but  I would try to solve them with the confidence of a recent student.

Relationships are probably the area that one really gets tested . This vary from family,friendships,work,lovers and acquaintances.

Family is the one place you can easily call home or be yourself without anyone judging you. But family members also come in different shapes and sizes as well as personalities.Admit it,there is that one or more family member who really get on your nerves. Here is a fact: we do not get to choose the families we are born in to hence when it is family you forgive them  for what you kill others for.(Dolly Parton said it well.) When dealing with family I have learnt to have an extra string of patience because today they will make me mad and tomorrow they are the ones I will be running to when I am heartbroken.Its truly a thin line but am willing to balance on it. I probably get on their nerves too!

A friend is sometimes closer than a brother so the great book of Proverbs says.Think about been in a foreign country all by yourself. Reminds me of a young exchange student who went to America and had little knowledge of the English language. His language instructor advised him ,when he went to a restaurant he was to order ” Hamburger,fries and coke” for three weeks that was his meal and he got tired and decided to try something new. His instructor told him to ask for breakfast “Eggs,toast and Juice” excited he placed his order and the waiter asked ” will that be scrambled egg,fried eggs,poached eggs,over easy or eggs Benedict? and do you want white toast,rye,or wheat? and will it be orange juice,apple,grape,prune or grapefruit juice? He looked up at her, paused a minute and said                              ” Hamburger,fries,coke”

Friends hold you together in times that family cannot be there,sometimes they can be the mediators of a difficult life situation.They keep you accountable. In the same way to survive in any place as no man is an island it is important to have a support group better known as friends. Now friends come in different categories. There are those that tell you the truth in love and want the very best for you…I keep those as close as I can..because I know they will not tell me what I want to hear rather it is what needs to be heard and said.

The there are those that are there for a season,they serve their purpose and leave,we tend to hold on to this but reality is ,if they stay past their sell by date,the really are not adding value and  that’s just life.

Then there are those who claim to be your friends but in essence they are always talking behind your back and claiming how they are the reason for your success or great step and yet they have not contributed anything.These ones remain behind my back especially since they do not have the courage to tell it to my face so their value remains behind my back which I cannot see. Sometimes acquaintances fall in this category perhaps because they could be work mates who are just negative about everything. 

I refuse to have negative minded people around me,or shall I call it negative energy. see if you are concentrating on positive things ,it soon becomes an effortless thing to concentrate on the good and the opposite applies.

Choose your friends so wisely and carefully that you can go up the success ladder together without wishing you had dropped someone on the way. Friends also serve as a reflection of who you are.No wonder the English man said ” show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.”

When I was younger,my mother used to say  that as you grow older you have fewer friends.For some reason I took offence in this statement but 10-15 years later it is so true. Growing older makes you refocus on things that add value,help you grow towards your goal.Your time also becomes limited hence you can only accommodate what is of importance. Some of us learn this faster than others.

Wisdom also comes with age, as a teenager I remember how I needed a reason for everything. If I was told to stop doing something, I needed to know why. Here I am now,my brain can decode faster and come up with the reasons to do or not to do something without posing questions.

When in a fight , I would probably get so worked up and say all the wrong things  and later pray for the ground to open and swallow me as a result of the embarrassment.Now I know better,no matter how hard it gets, I have tried to keep my calm and that way I am able to see the situation from a clearer perspective.A gentle and calm answer can calm a man in ways beyond understanding. 

Imagine you have an evil boss, this is the same person who gives you your pay cheque.The way you respond to him even in the most difficult times will determine whether you get to keep your job, a promotion or even a pay rise.Sometimes you are so right but for the sake of the bigger picture,you play cool and sometimes stupid.( Once a manager accused me of having lost an important file, I tried to reason with him that he had taken it. He went on to insult me and convince me how I think he doesn’t know his job ,and oh he talked , I just stood there listened and when he was done, I walked back to my office. Five minutes later he found the file in his office!! he couldn’t even face me so he gave another colleague the file to bring me instead. I was jumping up and down in my office,literally!) we are good friends by the way..

There are two things I know that get better with age: Wine and a violin. Whichever you choose just get better. Like a caterpillar tends to be very ugly while in its early stages and we pay little attention to it.However it requires time to break off the cocoon and when this process is over,out comes a beautiful butterfly…

Be a butterfly with age…

 

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One response to “MATURITY COMES WITH AGE & EXPERIENCE

  1. Pingback: MATURITY COMES WITH AGE & EXPERIENCE | adanmawanji

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