The curtains are closing in to usher the year 2013 and it definitely has been a great year. As 2012 started, there was unison of it been a great year. Having done the usual new year resolution write up, I bore in mind that they were going to come to pass. I am proud to have achieved 95% of the resolutions. In an earlier blog I had listed them down https://adanmawanji.wordpress.com/2012/09/06/the-joy-of-crossing-that-list/
Meanwhile, allow me to share the learning’s and memories of the year that was.
- I have had my spiritual moments with God and sometimes He has not made sense but the best part: He is such a gentleman ,he gives me the choice to follow Him or not
- Each of us has a sixth sense if not instincts. Now more than ever I do not ignore them, they have saved the day on one too many occasions.
- Life is about winning and losing. If I win all the time then I will miss the lesson derived from failing and doing it differently.
- Family is the only group you forgive for what you kill others for and they are here to stay
- I set the foundation on how I want people to treat me; I also don’t have to sit around and let someone devalue me
- There is a thin line between honesty and being impolite. the only difference in my experience, is a lot of us do not want to hear it in black and white
- You must be a student before you become the teacher just as you must be a servant before you become a leader; the core ingredient is humility.
- Serving others especially the less fortunate has brought on so much personal satisfaction ,its irreplaceable
- Cancer has been a big enemy for most in 2012, from a cancer scare to losing loved ones, it has also created a great awareness and helped me appreciate good health even more
- On the day I am happy, someone else will be sad, frustrated, depressed or mourning a loved one. There really never is a day that everyone is happy and it’s a fact
- There is no easy way to handle death whether it’s a loved one or someone distant, we all feel something, it’s inevitable hence only grace keeps us going
- Giving the best at my job is an obligation and duty whether my efforts are appreciated or not, after all the results will be the stepping stone to the next great job
- Expecting everyone to appreciate you for good efforts is unrealistic. There will always be those against and for you.
- Attitude is everything, every morning I wake up I chose the attitude I take with me throughout the day
- My priorities and plans are not another’s, it is up to me to make them happen lest I get disappointed waiting for someone else to fulfill them for me
- As you grow older, dreams, visions and focus tends to change and so are the people around. My list of friends has thinned but created more time for quality friendships and relationships
- Love is a virtue, a feeling, a rush but most of all it’s a choice we all have to make
- People come in to your life for different reasons and seasons, when their purpose is fulfilled, they leave or stay. If they leave make peace with yourself and don’t beat yourself about it.
- You must give in order to get. Giving generously is not always about the money its your heart, your time and what you put into that time
- Each of us has a season of growth, success, failure and frustrations. Figure out which season you are at, and don’t compare yourself with another unless its acts as a pillar of encouragement.
- Food is good for the soul and body but when abused or overdone it portrays itself in ways which we are sometimes not very proud of.
- A fast off processed food is very good for cleansing your system and rejuvenating worn out muscles and organs. This is one I will do over and over again!
- I chose to be healthy by eating right, keeping fit and indulging in the positive way of life
- Man is not an island and therefore I must accept support from time to time as I can never do it alone after all Together Everyone Achieves More!
- Delayed gratification is a great way to teach yourself that it is not a must that you obey your cravings ,wants and desires
- Tomorrow will be a better day but I have to make the effort to make that happen
There could be more to write but I believe this stood out the most.
Share the lessons ….
Looking forward to an even greater year.
I mentioned in yesterday’s post that if you feel like you ought to make a resolution this year, then that probably means you need to make a resolution.
But the word resolution is overused and not as heavy as a word I am going to propose in its stead for this post. This year, I plan on making a few New Year’s commitments. But how do you decide if it’s worth it?
You know what I mean… you resolve to lose three pounds a month and it’s December before you even realize you gave up on that back in March. But this year, let’s make deeper commitments than just meager weight loss and less video game time. Let’s examine a structure for how we can set commitments for 2013 and actually keep them.
1. Start Now
If there’s something you know you ought to change, we’ve less than a…
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This evening as i walked home i remembered that i had not registered as a voter using the newly introduced Biometric system,yet the registration center is visible from my balcony.
I joined the line and in about twenty minutes i was done with the registration. Perhaps proud to have registered but then again the uncertainty within is so high that am wondering whether it will be worth waking up 90 days from now to cast my vote.
In the year 2008,many of my colleagues did not report to work either because the violence in their vicinity was beyond or they were afraid for their lives,tension was running high.
Lucky to have been working for a company that was able to charter a plane to airlift them back to the city,I cannot imagine this happening again.One colleague described how his fully furnished house was burnt down just because he was not from “that” community.
Exit the past,enter the present,Caroline Mutoko one of Kenya’s top journalist and very candid for that matter(I have great respect for her) wrote an article explaining why Kenyans are not moved to register as voters for the next general elections even with a deadline so close. Point on,perhaps you should read for yourself to understand.
The politicians are so busy presenting their “manuals” so to speak that they have forgotten to convince the common mwananch i(citizen) why they should register. without voters= to no elections as such or should we say a suitable leader?
About a year and a half ago,i locked my television away in a store because of the political madness that had become the order of the day. Simply put i was not getting much value from it. If anything it was emotionally draining The newspapers,radio and internet work just fine,that way i stay selective of what to feed my mind.
Imagine having a long day with all your energies drained only to come and watch television that has politicians bickering all over, news of deaths,accidents and terrorism,in addition those annoying Mexican and Phillipino soaps( no pun intended) where they are always crying?
I don’t know about you ,but i have discovered great things to do with my time.Reading a well authored book for example relaxes my mind.
I may sound like I digressed from the main issue but all i am saying like Carol,give me a good reason to wake up in March of 2013 to vote for you Mr and Mrs Politician.Its not just about the money and prestige that comes with the title or is it position?
Make me feel worthy and safe as a citizen to take that leap of faith again.
40 Things Every Woman Must Know About Men, Love, Sex and Relationships
Most women learn about men, love, sex and relationships the hard way. They walk down the highly traveled, worn out path of emotional scars, broken hearts, abuse, confusion, anger and sleepless nights. When it comes to learning the hard way, you can get to know a great deal about men, love, sex and relationships, but most women who have traveled that path will tell you, “The price is too high and the consequences and lingering effects are way to painful!” Smart women understand this irrefutable truth.
They know there is an easier less complicated way to obtain the vital information they need to know about the opposite sex. Ladies, these 40 nuggets of wisdom and sage advice will help set you on the right path to finding and experiencing true love. Share these life-saving truths with every woman you know. They will forever thank you!
by Gillis Triplett
1. There are two types of males: Dishonorable males and honorable men. Don’t date or marry until you know how to tell the difference between the two! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you.
2. Honorable men are protectors. They will guard your heart, protect your emotions, defend your honor and stand as champions for your spiritual, mental and physical well-being; choose an honorable man and choose life!
3. You are not a car; if you meet a man who wants to test drive your physical body, emotions and feelings, point him to a car dealership, bid him adieu and don’t look back!
4. This is a true saying: “The soul of a woman is fragile.” Please note: dishonorable males refuse to respect this crucial truth. They will toy with a woman’s emotions without any semblance of concern or compassion. Therefore YOU must guard your heart from these cold-hearted males with all diligence.
5. Good men need to be treated like good men, dishonorable males, need to be let go and left alone!
6. OK ladies; you’ve met this great guy, but he’s got a child or children for which he does not take care of, provide for or see to. Follow these instructions to the letter: urgently send him back to the mother(s) of his child(ren) and don’t look back. Don’t make the same mistake the mother(s) of his child(ren) did!
7. Dishonorable males treat sex as a sport, females as trophies and children they sire as wastepaper. Never allow yourself to become their next score, mantle piece or sperm repository.
8. Women who hold grudges, seek vengeance, cling to bitterness and are unwilling to forgive, unwittingly break their own hearts!
9. Choose the wrong mate and you might as well have laid next to a boa constrictor or grabbed the ears of a raging mad pit bull. A smart woman learns how to choose her mate wisely!
10. Heed the sage advice of some caring brothers and honorable men. If he doesn’t fit – don’t force him, just relax and let him go. Destiny is on your side… TRUE LOVE will find you!
11. Momma’s boys belong with only one type of woman; their moms! Ladies, these mothers and their sons will never cut their grotesque umbilical cord. Therefore, for your sake, leave them alone and just let them trot home to their mommies.
12. Self-love: if you don’t have it, pull yourself off the market. Make no mistake about it, if you don’t love yourself, NO MAN can ever love you… no matter how great a man he is.
13. Don’t judge ALL men by one man’s actions; unless you want ALL men to judge you based on the acts of amoral women.
14. Most women learn how to choose a mate the hard way; they go through a gut wrenching string of emotionally detached males, jerks, pimps, thugs and players. Don’t become one of those heart broken and bitter women! Learn how to properly choose a mate before it’s too late! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you!
15. You wondering, “If I move in with him, is he going to marry me?” Answer: “Not likely!” Don’t believe it, take these two critical tests: (a). Ask any honorable man! And, (b). Examine the ever-growing list of disillusioned women who are begrudgingly waiting for their non-committal live-in lovers to pop the big question.
16. Do you keep attracting men who are dogs? Check the scent you’re putting out. Men who are dogs are attracted by scent!
17. You are not a man! Therefore, you will never be: a role model for men, a father figure, a man’s mentor or a man’s coach. If a man has lacked proper male leadership in his life, kindly send him on his way. Know for a certainty; he is not prepared for the responsibilities that come with love, sex, relationship and marriage.
18. If you don’t know what a misogynistic man is, take this time to check your dictionary. For your sake, sanity and safety, avoid these treacherous males at all costs.
19. Don’t ever delude yourself! Your beauty, fine body, sexual prowess, cooking skills, femininity and vibrant personality will never be enough to change a man, NEVER!
20. If your potential mate does such things as: promises to call you but doesn’t, makes dates and breaks them, shows up late or plays games with your emotions; take notes ladies… those are clear cut warning signs that he DOES NOT value you, he DOES NOT love you and he DOES NOT care about you!
21. Angry, bitter, hostile, combative, unforgiving single women, become: angry, bitter, hostile and combative, unforgiving wives.
22. A fundamental understanding and respect of the male ego is a must for all women who want a vibrant and healthy love; DO NOT obtain this crucial information from dishonorable males or from angry bitter women.
23. If you choose to be with dishonorable males, pimps, players, thugs, ballers and shot callers, you have absolutely no right to complain when they torch your emotions, abuse you, leave you pregnant and alone, jeopardize your safety and otherwise harm or hurt you. Remember, you have freedom of choice and you chose to be with them!
24. When a man is trying to find himself, kindly bid him adieu… PERMANENTLY! He can find you, but can’t find himself? He shouldn’t be looking for love… he should be searching for the map to Mastering Manhood!
25. OK; he wants or is demanding sex but you are not his wife. Write this down: There is no need to wonder, debate or contemplate: he DOES NOT honor or respect you!
26. Spoiled women are like spoiled milk, spoiled meat, spoiled fruit spoiled bread and spoiled brats. Get the picture? Don’t become a spoiled woman!
27. Expecting a dishonorable male to do the honorable thing is like expecting piranhas not to devour you if you make the mistake of diving into their water.
28. You’ve asked these questions, “Why doesn’t he call me more often? Why doesn’t he pursue me more diligently and why doesn’t he show me that he loves me?” Answer; he’s not into you! If you don’t let him go and move on with your life, you will allow him to hinder or block your true love from finding you!
29. All men ARE NOT dogs! Don’t believe, repeat or perpetuate that rampant lie! You will hamper your ability to see and discern the good men who cross your path!
30. Some males like to hit women. It gives them a sense of power and control. If you give yourself to one of these abusive males, most assuredly you will become a punching bag and a floor mat. It is critical that you learn how to detect and avoid these cretins!
31. Promiscuous immoral women are not worthy of an honorable man. They never have been and they never will be.
32. Never allow emotionally embittered women to influence you concerning the male gender. If you do, their hatred and unforgiveness will become yours. Soon you will find yourself suspicious, indignant and angry at all men.
33. You were not designed, built or destined for abuse, whether: emotionally, physically or financially. If he is an abuser, there is no need to deliberate … he IS NOT the one; leave him now!
34. Some women live their lives vicariously through the women on “Girlfriends, Sex In The City and Desperate Housewives.” Don’t become one of these women. If you do, you will make a literal mess of your life, emotions, physical body and well-being.
35. When a man truly loves you, he will honor and respect you. If he doesn’t… don’t deceive yourself and don’t allow him to defraud you; he DOES NOT love OR care about you!
36. Everyone has skeletons in their closet? Wrong! Not everyone has skeletons in their closet. Don’t start putting any in yours!
37. There is a vast difference between sex and love. Most men know the difference and you had better learn it fast! If you fail or refuse to do so, you are surely headed for relationship or marital crash and burn.
38. Don’t deceive yourself, once you have sex with a man who is not your husband… he may never admit it, but he has lost a degree of respect for you. Don’t believe it? Ask any honorable man or virtuous woman.
39. The dismal cycle of breaking up and making up only works out in the romance novels, television shows and movies. If you are riding that emotional roller coaster get off right now! Your heart, mind and soul will forever thank you.
40. Nothing is more beautiful, captivating, attractive and sensual than a woman with a gentle and peaceable spirit!
40 Things a Man Must Know About Life, Love and Women
Smart men understand that they must be prepared for life, love and women. These 40 nuggets of wisdom provide you with the necessary information you’ll need to live and enjoy life to the fullest. Share these vital insights with every man you know. They will forever thank you!
by Gillis Triplett
1. Bad decisions have ruined many a man’s life. You can avoid heart piercing regret by thinking things through before you act
2. A fundamental understanding of the female psyche is a must for all men – this information will save you much heartache and pain
3. Unfortunately, the world is filled with females who will dash your dreams and ruin your life. Therefore choose your mate wisely
4. No matter what it looks like, in the end you will always reap what sow. Always!
5. Learn the difference between true love and pure lust as early in life as possible. This crucial info will help you avoid sex traps
6. If a woman walks out of your life, LET HER GO!
7. We live in a different day: economically, globally, politically and socially. How things are today are not like they were ten or twenty years ago. Don’t live based on yesterday’s information. Know your history, but live in the future.
8. Many females harbor anger and malice against the entire male gender. They seek out vengeance by putting nice men through the: divorce, domestic violence, family and child support courts. Learn how to recognize these females lest you become the next recipient of their cunning unforgiving wrath – Exclamation point!
9. Be chivalrous in victory and gracious in defeat
10. Don’t allow negative people to creep into your life. They thrive on stunting the growth of others with their fatalistic pessimism. You have too much to live for, stay away from their negativity!
11. Learn how to hear and know God’s voice. He’s a great conversationalist and His wisdom will astound you
12. It is better to have a broken engagement, than to go from one flesh to torn flesh
13. Be quick to hear and slow to speak; know when to talk and when to listen. Obey these laws and you will go far in life
14. It’s the law of nature; the alpha male always gets the girl. Don’t whine about it. Stand up, girt your loins like a man and become an alpha male!
15. Never make friends with an angry woman, NEVER!
16. Become intimately familiar with first and greatest Commandment of all Commandments
17. Every female who claims to believe in God IS NOT telling the truth! Know how to discern the difference or you will pay dearly
18. Sex is not a sport and females are not trophies. Treat the opposite sex with respect and honor – your life will be blessed!
19. If a she lies to you once, shame on her, if she lies to you twice, shame on you. A third time and you are a glutton for punishment
20. If you hate your job, find another one and then resign
21. Learn how to bounce back from setbacks, failures and losses
22. Condoms do not constitute “Safe sex.” They never have and they never will
23. Don’t tell a woman you love her unless you truly mean it
24. Learn how to pray to get results
25. Know how to respond properly when people treat you bad
26. Never put your trust in an untrustworthy woman, NEVER!
27. You control your destiny. Do it with the utmost planning, execution and passion
28. You cannot change people, SO STOP TRYING!
29. If you are unhappy with your life, don’t complain, change it!
30. If you don’t know the fundamentals of acquiring and maintaining wealth – stop what you’re doing and LEARN THEM NOW!
31. Know how to respond when people let you down
32. Sin is pleasurable for a season, but when that season is over, know this for a certainty; you are going to pay dearly!
33. Right or wrong, true or false, good or bad, people are always going to have opinions about you. Don’t be moved by their words
34. All real men know how to walk away and save face. It’s a clear sign that they have reached true manhood
35. Know the art of communication frontward and backwards; it becomes a valuable commodity in love and marriage
36. Don’t play games with a female’s emotions or feelings. You could damage her psyche for life and some other man will pay dearly for your indiscretions
37. Women who swear and use curse words make for abrasive and contentious spouses. Don’t date or marry them, just walk away
38. When times get tough and pressure becomes unbearable, remember this irrefutable truth… storms NEVER last forever
39. There are certain things in life that you cannot change, accept that truth and STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THEM!
40. If you don’t believe in God, heaven or hell, you better be right!
Think of the greatest athlete, musician, artist or business professional that inspires you. The amazing talents that really stand out. Michael Jordan. Tiger Woods. Warren Buffett. They were each born with a special gift: wired from birth with talents and abilities that most of us don’t have access to, right?
Research is showing that it’s not that simple. In fact, many child prodigies don’t go on to major success in the area of their early gifts. And many of the greatest performers, athletes and business people never showed any early signs of aptitude.
So, how did they become great at what they do?
A couple of years ago I read an article by Geoffrey Colvin in Fortune, What It Takes To Be Great. The article is fascinating and delves into the question of innate abilities, usually referred as “the talent myth”.
The Research on Great Performance
In 1993, Florida State University professor K. Anders Ericsson and his colleagues published a paper on ‘expert performance’ which, along with the additional studies around the world that it inspired, made some very interesting discoveries:
- Nobody is “great” without lots of work. Early aptitude is not a predictor for greatness in a given field without consistent practice over a long period of time.
- The most accomplished people in any field need about 10 years of hard work before they become “world class”. They call this the 10 Year Rule.
Many of these scientists are now saying that “targeted” natural gifts do not exist at all. You are not born a CEO or chess grandmaster. Rather, greatness is achieved by hard, focused work over many years.
Charlie Parker, widely considered one of the most influential of Jazz musicians, showed no sign of musical talent as a child. He started playing saxophone at age 11, and was thrown out of his high school band because he was so bad. But this drove him to practice intensively for many years, for four years up to 15 hours a day. It was many years after that before he was noticed.
Tiger Woods started practicing golf at 18 months, and was encouraged to practice by his father. He had been practicing intensively for 15 years before winning the U.S. Amateur Championship at age 18.
But you and I both know people who work very hard. Many work for decades at a job or hobby without approaching greatness. Why don’t they become “world class”, then?
It turns out that it’s not just hard work that is required. What is required is focused, consistent practice over a long period of time. Something the researchers are callingdeliberate practice.
Truly great people in any field devote many hours to deliberate practice. Deliberate practice is an activity that goes beyond repetition. It is consistent practice where the goal is to continually improve performance, reaching beyond your current capabilities, and seeking feedback on results.
The article describes what is my favorite example of deliberate practice:
Simply hitting a bucket of balls is not deliberate practice, which is why most golfers don’t get better. Hitting an eight-iron 300 times with a goal of leaving the ball within 20 feet of the pin 80 percent of the time, continually observing results and making appropriate adjustments, and doing that for hours every day — that’s deliberate practice.
And what’s great about these findings is that we can apply them to all areas of our life. Almost any skill is improvable. Giving presentations. Sports. Negotiating. Whatever it is that you do and have a passion for, you can improve and become truly great — if you are willing to put in the work, that is.
The Deliberate Practice Formula
- Approach each critical task with an explicit goal of getting much better at it. Set goals that are just beyond your level of competency.
- As you do the task, focus on what’s happening and why you’re doing it the way you are.
- After the task, get feedback on your performance from multiple sources. Don’t get emotional about it, and make changes in your behavior as necessary.
- Continually build mental models of your situation – of your industry, your company, your career. Expand the models to encompass more factors. (A good book on the concept of mental models is The Power of Impossible Thinking by Yoram Wind and Colin Cook).
- Do those steps regularly, not sporadically. Occasional practice does not work. Consistency is the key here.
What Does This All Mean?
We don’t have to be born with a special talent in order to be great at something. We just have to have the desire to constantly work at and improve our skill. This is huge: it means that you can learn to be good, or even great at nearly anything!
Most people won’t go through the long and difficult process of deliberate practice. But this is what can separate you from the pack. This is what makes great performance rare: most people either don’t believe they can do it, or aren’t willing to do the work to become truly great at their passion.
So ask yourself, what is your ‘mastery skill’? What should you work on to improve regularly, practicing, getting feedback, improving and pushing yourself to higher levels of excellence?
Is it your career? Is it a sport? Is it art or music? Now that you know that excellence is a choice, a whole world of possibilities opens up. Are you ready to pursue your dream and become “world class at it”?